something beautiful

Have ya ever had an exciting, exhausting, crazy, overwhelming, or mind blowing week? Or maybe all of the above? Yeah, same.

This week has been unreal.

It’s beautiful though, because the Lord has revealed so much to me.

Tuesday night, I called my mom sobbing. I am in the middle of starting a ministry and I just really thought that all of this was going to be smooth sailing. That’s too easy though, right?

Let’s back up. I am getting ahead of myself here.

A few weeks ago, I emailed Jordan Lee from Soul Scripts and asked if she would be interested in coming to South Carolina to speak to the girls in my community. It was kind of one of those things where you know you’ll never hear back but what could it hurt? Ever had one of those? Yep, me too! I thought this was one of them.

To my surprise, I got a response just a few days later. She said that she would love to and we discussed pricing. I’m not going to lie, the price was very discouraging. How am I going to raise almost $1,300??? I work and tutor crazy hours of the week and I just don’t see how this is going to work.

God told me to say yes. So I did.

I posted a picture on Instagram to see what type of reaction I was going to get. I got a few likes and a text from my mother goose. She was very concerned that I had agreed. I totally understood why too. We are talking lots of money here–lots! I explained how the Lord was telling me to do this and I remember her saying, “you need to seriously pray. Ask God if this is His will,  and if it is–that you will be His hands and feet but HE needs to LEAD you.”

So guess what? That night when I prayed, I picked up my phone and reread her text and told God just that.

Just wait. It gets better. 

I sat down and played with numbers. After some hard thinking, I decided that if I could sell 100 tickets for $10 that would give us $1,000 and that was BEST case scenario. All I would need to do is raise $250. That’s not too bad.

I annoyed social media with posts and advertisement for this event. Sorry guys!

For Christmas, my dad surprised me with a wall decal. This wasn’t just any wall decal. The night of my birthday (December 6th) my parents gave me all kinds of fun calligraphy things to help start my new hobby. That night I sat down eager to begin. I wrote out, ” I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Being a little bit proud of my work, I sent it in the family group chat. Somehow my dad took that picture and made it in a wall decal to stick above my window in my bedroom. *cue the water works*

My brother kept saying, “you should write things and make decals and sell them on your blog! It could be something.”

“Nah, that seems like a lot of work,” I kept replying.

Well, time was ticking and I was trying to think of some sort of fundraiser. A dear friend of mine and I got to talking and we came up with the idea of decals. That night I drew some things and my brother made it happen. I now had 5 awesome decals for people to choose from that held so much meaning.

I stuck my logo on my car and snapped a picture for Instagram. Later that night I stuck decals on my laptop, and Bible and posted another picture.

MY PHONE AND LAPTOP WERE BLOWING UP WITH ORDERS.

Yall, I literally panicked. WHY DID I NOT COME UP WITH AN EASIER WAY TO DO THIS?!

I kept seeing messages and hearing that annoying Facebook message sound.

I avoided everything. Any type of social  media needed to be turned off. Immediately.

I didn’t know how to do this.

That’s when it happened.

I started thinking and telling myself, “This isn’t you–you are not supposed to be doing this.”

Uhh, has anyone else ever been there?

I immediately grabbed my phone (ignored every single notification) and called my mom. I just cried. Like the ugly cry.

Thank the Lord for her. She gave me such encouraging words and helped walk me through everything.

With her on the phone, I slowly began responding to messages and taking those 100 orders.

My brother and Jordan Lee helped me make things easier. Adam opened up an Etsy shop to use to sell the decals, and Jordan told me a great website to use for selling tickets. All of those word documents can rest now–as well as myself.

Why do we do these things to ourselves?

Today, one of my dear friends named Carmen was texting me. I pretty much laid all of my crap on the table. I told her the same thing I told my mom–that this wasn’t me. I love her response to my text. In fact, do you mind if I share our conversation?

Allie: “The other day I felt like I was trying to be something I’m not 😦 I know that sounds silly.”

Carmen: “Why thought? Like 1.) who did you feel like you were 2)who did you feel like you weren’t? And 3.) WHO told you were/were not?”

Allie: “I feel like I am trying to be the next Jennie Allen or the next Beth Moore. I don’t feel like I am the old Allie which–hallelujah I don’t. And I told myself–I’m not which was probably just the devil–right? I just feel like I’m not Allie anymore.”

Carmen: “You’re not Allie anymore! You are a NEW creation, you know. And think about new things. A baby is a good example. When that baby is new, it knows nothing except instincts to cry. But as that baby learns and grows , that baby is new and different EVERY day. Learns new things daily, tries new things, fails a lot, but gets back up. But all the while you have the enemy AND your flesh to fight. Which is why it’s imperative to look UP. Kids are short. When they want parent’s attention, what do they do?  Look UP. And then the parent can respond to the need. The same with the Lord! He’s responding to your “need” to be renewed.

Also, something I started trying to learn right now is the concept of “stay in your lane.” If you’re too busy looking at who is in the lane beside you, you’ll either slow down to watch or you’ll keep full speed ahead and miss the wall and crash into it. You’re NOT Jennie Allen. You’re NOT Beth Moore. (Thank goodness cuz she kinda too much for me sometimes LOL) but you are the only Allie there is. Don’t try to be them. Because you’ll fail every time. Just be Allie and be the Allie the Lord wants you to be. All you have to do is stay in YOUR lane.”

The point of all of this is, I trusted and obeyed God. I have spent countless hours trying to plan this event. And the devil has used  my insecurity and tried to tell me that I was wrong and that this wasn’t right. I can’t really explain why because I don’t know. Spiritual warfare is AWFUL. The devil hates when you and the Lord start working together.

Aren’t you glad that we have The Holy Spirit and we have been blessed with grace, love and hope? I know I am.

The Lord spoke to me through my dear friend and mom. He does crazy things like that you know.

So now that this event is easy to manage and plan. Thanks to my fabulous brother! We have sold 82 tickets! YAY!!! And over $750 in decals!!! The Lord is crazy like that!!!!

The event is paid for and any money left over will be donated to Jordan Lee and her amazing ministry and another organization designed for the victims of human sex-trafficking.

The Lord has blown my mind with ALL of this. HE DID IT ALL!!  It’s such a sweet and beautiful thing. We still have 18 tickets and plenty of decals to sell–in case you were wondering!

So sisters, when the Lord whispers plans in your ear. DO it. It may be scary and it may cost a pretty penny but there is NOTHING that He can’t do. I am dying for March 24th to get here. I can only imagine what the Lord is going to do inside of those walls.

Who’s coming to witness it with me??

Remember, obey. Look UP and BE YOU! Oh yeah, and place EVERY bit of trust you have in the Lord. He’s so great!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/jordan-lee-soulscripts-tickets…(BUY YOUR TICKETS HERE!)

Etsy.com –CultivatedinGrace (Buy your decals here!)

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